Currently.........

feeling insecure?
yes, i am.

feeling grumpy?
yes, i am?

feeling unhappiness?
yes, i am.

feeling weak?
yes, i am.

feeling uncertainties?
yes, i am.


im wondering why i have so many negative feelings recently...

i just had a dream from my afternoon nap...
i dreamt that it was first day of school in uni...
and the teacher blast out my name 'WAN LAI KUAN U NV PAY FOR UR SCH FEES GO OUT AND PAY NOW!!!!'

frightening.

its more frightening than those blood-thirsty vampire, chasing dinosaurs, huge tsunami dreams that i used to have.

even when in dream, im still worrying for money.

kns.

i should be happy and contented and satisfied.

these few days, i received my results. i passed!
i received the GST offset package, additional $75!
and more, i received my ettusais hamper of $50 worth of facials, from CLEO!
the first time ever i won something from CLEO after participating in so many of their sms contests.

but good luck ends.
dun u think tt whenever gd luck comes, the bad luck is waiting at ur doorsteps.
but, when bad luck is in the hse, good luck is waiting to take over.

it always happens to me.


why am i feeling insecure and uncontented and having uncertainties?
further studies.

yeap, the first time ever i attended sim open hse. im stirred.
feeling so excited can, like a kid pulling BB's shirt all over the place to scour for brochures and informations.
thinking back, when im choosing secondary school and poly, i nv attended open hse.

i wan to continue study.
a diploma can suffice now? NO.

but i wan to continue study, wad if the same thing happens in poly happens again?
thanks to jia ni, she keep encouraging me and she's the only one will ever do.

my frens? nah, one say no need study so much i got this i got that. the others? they are already in uni.
my family? they always have no money de la.

and, if i wan to study, i gotta do it now.
1 and a half yr, once and for all.
but, 18k in one shot, where can i find it?

and worse, im not given a chance to even have half a yr to prepare the money or wad.
theres only one intake per yr, starting january every yr.
and the next intake, closing date for applications ending on 25 oct.

i need 6k upon acceptance.
i only got 1k now.

wad? wan to chid me for not working hard enuf rite?
save ur words.
im beta off for not asking a single cents from parents. tsk.

but now, im thinking of borrowing money from BB's papa le.
my parents are just kinda 'worthless' when it comes to money.
or it just me. 'worthless' regarding money that concerns me. blah.

6k, pls pop out. at least just tahan for the opening sem. i will get a job for the 2nd and 3rd sem.

next, why am i feeling grumpy and unhappy?

okay, time of the month. grumpy of course.
and then, i cant score the job i wan.

no calls. or just calls that says 'we need experience de oh~'
if i got the experience, i wun be knocking on ur door, miss.

yea, i wan to go into the shipping line, but its all experience experience.
if i gotta study, i beta just find a chop chop part time. zzz.

im confused. wad shld i choose?
its critical. its the last.

a full time study, to be completed in 1.5 yrs, 18k of school fees.

a part time study, to be completed in 2 yrs, 16k of sch fees.

which one will ya choose?

June 2006
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<3s

Lijun. Laikuan. 20+ years old. Attached to Sherman BB. Presently studying and slacking.

<

Nintendo DS Lite. Anna Sui Wish. Kanebo Eye Glitter. Nokia 6280. Nine West shoes. Coach Carryall. LG KF350 Pink Ice Cream Phone. Coastal Scents 88-Color Palette.

Holidays around the world. Backpacking. Tiffany/Cartier Ring. Playstation 3. Final Fantasy 13. Kingdom Hearts 3. ROM 2009/2010. and lots of Clothes, Shoes, Bags and Moolahs~.

ShermAn BB
YufEn
kAriN
mEoWmEoW
yOngEn
wEijiE
WinGWinG
XiaoQian
qiAoxuAn
MichEllE
MunYEng
Melissa
Cakee Mummy
AngElinE
YanHui
ReGinA
SherLa
TingTing



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